


Dreaming of Sunflowers

by CottonCandy_Faygo



Category: South Park
Genre: Gay, Kenny x Butters - Freeform, Kenny x craig - Freeform, M/M, Other, Suicide, Sunflowers, TriggerWarning, creek - Freeform, selfharm, south park - Freeform, southpark, trigger warning, tweak x craig
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-19
Updated: 2018-10-30
Packaged: 2019-07-14 06:30:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16034900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CottonCandy_Faygo/pseuds/CottonCandy_Faygo
Summary: Tweek Tweak Is in high school. Everything’s, awful. And then it gets worse. Craig tucker. Everything is twisting, and Tweek can’t handle it. He can’t handle not being enough, not knowing what was going on, and Eric Cartman. Period.





	1. Goodbye

It was awful. Tweek received blow after blow. Cartman laughing hysterically, stopping briefly to talk to Tweek. “You really are pathetic, you fag.” he sneered. Tweek had been talking to butters in the hall, when he accidentally ran into Cartman. After school that day, the overweight boy tracked him down and got what he called revenge.  
“I didn't m-mean to!” Tweek exclaimed. He wasn't normally a fighter, but he tried to stand up for himself, fighting back to his best ability. 

The next hard punch to the side sent the blond haired boy to the floor, and then cartman stepped quickly onto Tweeks leg, but it was only enough to cause bruising. Tweek cried out loudly in pain. “NGHHH!” He hissed, trying to hold everything back. 

Then an angel came. Craig, who had gotten out of school a little later than the rest of the students, for whatever reason. At the age of fifteen, the only things that changed, was his voice, and him getting far more attractive.

“Yo, fatass." He called out at cartman. This diversion allowed Tweek to crawl away. He barely looked behind him, stopping only long enough to catch Craig’s eyes and give him a thankful glance. As fast as he could, running and tripping, he made it home, holding back tears and groaning in pain. Everything was just too much. 

When Tweek got home, the house was empty. Only him and the whirring of a heater left on by his parents that morning. As he rushed to the bathroom, he flicked the tv onto the news quickly, to make him feel less as lone. In the bathroom, the search for bandages began. He could see dark stains growing to a larger size in several places. Cartmans temper really needed taming. 

Sat down on the toilet seat, he shakily unbuttoned his shirt, pulling it off. The boy winced with pain, letting out a few quick shrieks as he tried to clean himself up. A loud knock came from the front door, but Tweek stayed put, keeping quiet too his best ability. Suspecting it had been some salesman, or a kidnapper from the Government.

His wounds were bad, but not hospital bad. All of this because he had a few mental disorders. ADD, paranoia, just to name a few. Everything he did to try to hide it made it worse. He had been taking different prescriptions for years now, and nothing seemed to work for too long. Except the coffee. It was such a small thing, and everyone saw it as a problem. But it was the solution. Not the therapists, or the doctors, or the pills. The coffee, the thing that helped him remember he was alive. It was so comforting. A consistent variable that never changed. Unlike everything else. 

Tweek let out a loud scream, waking himself up from his train of thoughts. He hadn’t realized how bad the anti-bacterial ointment would hurt. “G-god damnit Tweek. You’re s-so loud! Ngh.” He hissed at himself. “If I k-keep being loud, the-then they’ll hear me. They’ll kn-know I’m here, and then they’ll kidnap me, and steal my brain and-“ he cut himself off, letting out a deep sigh. It was difficult to distract himself from these thoughts, but he had important issues to deal with.

Hours passed, filled with many cups of coffee,loud shouting at the tv, and sobbing, before his parents got home. When they came in they didn’t even comment on the bruised and bandaged boy. Just shooed him off to his room from the couch. He went willingly, scurrying up the stairs with minor difficulty. “Gah!”he had shouted beforehand, looking at the floor. 

His room, a mess of half finished projects. From scattered writings, to drawing, and even some building with plastic toys from his childhood. The only things that seemed to be finished, were some drawings. Most of them were made up of blues, purples, and showed off the galaxy and stars above. But a few were pictures of flowers he’d drawn. Above his picture he had some photographs he had taken, or been given, featuring his friends, or plants. In the middle there was one of his old friend, Craig tucker, that he had taken when they were in elementary school. 

Craig Tucker. The boy who had saved his life many times in the past month. It was always like that. After elementary school, and their fight, they stopped talking. Craig would nod to tweek if the two passed, but that was it. It made tweek confused, and scared. Even more so, was the fact that Craig seemed to be waiting to beat Cartman, or even some of the older students if they ever tried to bloody tweek. He’d let Tweek run off, to safety, and wouldn’t say a word. 

Tweek would hang out with Clyde and token still, sometimes. Craig would be there every now and then, but he would never interact, just watch from the sidelines. Once when Tweek, Token, and Clyde were playing basketball, Craig watched, sitting on the bleachers and smoking. Tweek had been on a prescription that he thought would work. It had been, for a week.  
“Craig, those things w-will kill you. Ngh! You should st-stop smoking them.” Tweek had called. Craig just shrugged, but put it out. After that, he never smoked around Tweek. And the blond never knew why. 

Tweek phased back into reality. His eyes focusing on the photograph he was holding. The one of Craig laughing. Even as a child, Craig had been so perfect looking. The way his eyes crinkled, and his cheeks turned bright red. Tweek started laughing quietly. But it stopped shortly, his eyes focusing on his hands. One, wrapped with bandages. The other, had multiple brightly coloured bandaids on it. 

Tweek got off his bed, which had sunflower sheets, and a light green comforter, and walked over to his desk. Hanging the picture back up, next to the other photos he had of his friends, and sat on the white wood chair. Homework. He had so much that he’d been putting off. Tweek let out a loud “Gah” and opened his laptop. Homework could wait. 

The blond boy looked through Facebook, scrolling past memes, and happy birthday posts for people he didn’t like. He spotted something strange, Craig had posted. It was a simple picture of his blue chrome Harley, with a boy on it. Kenny. Kenny was on Craig’s harley. The caption simple said, “See ya.” Tweek s mind went spinning. He scrolled through the comments quickly looking for an explanation, but Craig had not responded to Stan’s, or Clyde’s, or Thomas’ comments. No ones. 

Where were they going?


	2. Doodles

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The action heightens. Clyde, you’re not so cool are you? Cartman is still an asshole. And Tweek is paranoid.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long. I’ll try and update this at least once a week, sometimes more. Just a reminder that South Park does not belong to me. However, this story, storyline, and plot does.  
> -Caspian Milo

Tweek woke up from his nightmares, eyes opening slowly. He was heavy, trying to get air in his lungs. Everything was blurry from leftover tears in his eyes. He sat up, rubbing his eyes harshly. He had fallen asleep on the floor, having fallen off his chair. Not even phased, the boy went straight back to the computer. The screen still featured the picture of Kenny on Craig’s motorcycle. His eyes glanced at the clock. 7:30. He’d be late for the bus.

 

Tweek pulled on his pants and shirt quickly. He barely got any of the buttons done on his shirt. His hair was a mess as usual, he tried running a brush through the worst parts, but gave up. He grabbed his school bag, and rushed downstairs. He had a cup of coffee and sped out the door. “Ngh! I have to catch the bus!” He shouted to himself.

 

Barely catching the doors before they closed, he quickly scurried in and sat down at the back. His eyes scanned the bus.

“I dunno man, he’s not here. Do you think they really ran off?” Kyle asked his buddy’s, Stan and Cartman. No Kenny.

“Who cares? They’re both fags anyways.” Cartman sneered, louder than he should’ve. Tweek cringed at the word, sliding down in his seat with fear. Everything was happening so fast, and he didn’t like it. It was just-

“Too much pressure!” Tweek cried out. As soon as he let the words slip, he clapped his hands over his mouth.

“Speaking of which.” Cartman groaned, looking over at Tweek.

“Jesus, fatass.” Kyle muttered.

 

The bus ride went on like that for a while, until they arrived at school. Tweek was the last one off, and that was fine with him. He wanted to be as invisible as he could.

 

As Tweek approached his locker, he saw Clyde, standing with Token and a few other kids. The group was whispering quietly. Tweek hoped it was about Craig. Even Stan and Kyle had joined the group. Tweek didn't want to include himself, so he began to turn. Thankfully for him, Clyde spotted him and waved him over. Entering the group, he saw people glance at him and look at the floor. They were acting like his Guinea Pig had died.

“Kenny had been talking about hating death.” Stan commented, letting out a heavy sigh when he finished.

“Maybe he went where he can’t die?” Kyle suggested. But he sounded doubtful.

“With Craig? He’s not that type of person.” Kyle shrugged.

“Well, Craig can actually be very sentimental and nice. He likes making people happy. Well, certain people.” Token shrugged.

 

He liked making people happy. The sentence repeated in Tweeks mind. The cigarette now made sense. Did that mean Craig had thought fondly of Tweek? Surely he didn’t. The two never spoke, they never hung out. So why would Craig stop smoking around Tweek?

 

“What do you think? Cartman says you two were the last ones to see him. Yesterday.” Kyle inferred. The fight. Maybe it was Tweeks fault?

“Yeah, I ngh, got into a fight. And C-Craig saved me. A-again.” He sighed, shuttering violently and suddenly. Clyde offered him a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“You wanna come talk, dude?” Clyde asked. Even though they were friends, Clyde wasn’t even normally this nice. This must be hurting Clyde a lot too.

Tweek nodded and went along.

 

“Remember the fight in elementary school? Between you and Craig?” Clyde asked once they were alone outside. The bell had rang, but Tweek didn’t want to go to class.

“Yeah. I r-remember.” He shuddered. “Why?”

“I know this isn’t any of my business, but the fake romance. The rumors about him being gay, they’re kinda true. I think someone found out. ‘Nd I also think Craig ran off because of that.”

Craig was the most unlikely Christian. He wasn’t an asshole about it, he just believed in god, and heaven. He went to church on sundays, most of the time. He even wore a tiny cross necklace under his jacket. So Craig, actually being gay? Shocking.

“But why are you telling me?” Tweek asked. His brow furrowed and his coffee sloshed out of his thermos haphazardly. Aiming to scorch Tweeks unprotected hands.

“Because, you like him, right? He got all pissed at Cartman.”Clyde pulled out his phone, and scrolled through his texts, past him yelling at Craig to answer him, asking where he went, to where Craig had been venting furiously.

 

_Clyde: yo dude_

_Clyde: what’s wrong w u_

_Clyde: dude u weren’t there after school_

_Craig: sorry. I was cleaning up._

_Clyde: bro r u ok?_

_Craig: I’m fine. Just fucking pissed._

_Craig: who gives Cartman the godamn right to hurt anyone he wants to with no justifiable reasons._

_Craig: he can’t just pick on any fucking kid he wants._

_Craig: his excuses are shit. Oh your gay? I’m gonna punch you._

_Craig: just any fucking blonde boy with illness and knowing who he fucking loves_

_Craig: Cartman feels he just gets to hurt them_

_Craig: and nobody does anything. I watched him running away today. And Cartman took the opportunity to fucking step on my leg too._

_Craig: I watched him limping away. He looked like a fawn. Scared and alone. And no one at home to help._

_Craig: I’m so fucking done_

_Craig: bye._

  
  


Clyde took the phone back once I was done reading and shoved it in his pocket. His cheeks were turning red from the cold. Even in the early fall, South Park was freezing.

That was about Tweek. But what was the tone? Was he angry about Tweek? Craig hated Tweek. That had to be it. Tweek knee it. The way Craig mostly avoided him, and never spoke. The way he seemed bitter. Tweek knew Craig hated him.

 

“So, yeah. We should, get to class.” Clyde mumbled, and began walking off. He seemed more upset than he let on.

 

Tweek scurried to the library. Yeah he was skipping class, but he hated health anyways. They always told him how awful coffee was for him. In the library, he lay on the couch. Everything was running through his mind. It was all too much pressure. As he lay there, he pulled out some paper and began doodling mindlessly. Letting his mind rest, and leaving the work to his hands, until second period. For now, he’d draw.


	3. Coffee Cups

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek finds some more valuable information, he does some dumb stuff, and goes to work. Yay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is a self harm trigger warning. I’d also like to say that I do not try to romanticize suicide or self harm. If you do self harm or think of suicide, I suggest you get help, trust me, it’s not the answer. It won’t fix things or make anything better. Please seek help if you can, it only gets better. 
> 
> This chapter is mostly a filler, but there is important stuff. Sorry for the late update, I’ve been busy and stressed. This is softer feeling for the most part, because I needed to work on softer, calmer stuff. It’s also pretty short because I wanted to get stuff out. I’m sorry. I hope you enjoy.

The school day passed by in a too slow blur. Tweek blinked, and he was home, finishing some science homework. He didn’t remember the walk there, or how he grabbed a new cup of coffee. He just knew that it was okay because now he was safe. 

He didn’t like Craig being gone. The thought plagued his mind, like mold. He tried to clean it away, doing his homework, drawing, even literal cleaning, but nothing worked. It made itself more prominent than the last time he’d thought it. His anxiety and paranoia were growing at a rapid speed in this moment. So bad his vision was blurring, and everything was dizzy. Life was moving too fast. It was all  
“too much pressure.” He squeaked into his collar, looking down at the cuts on his wrist. 

Tweek was in the bathroom. Life stopped spinning. He had gotten it to stop. Now, he was holding a blade in his left hand, and watching blood flow out of his right wrist. He hadn’t done it for a week, so the pain was there. He was there. The blond haired, green eyed boy ran his silver tool over the paper, creating thick red lines. That’s how he thought of it. So maybe it wouldn’t hurt as bad. But it did. 

After a few strokes, he was calm, in reality, and stopped. Bandages covered his arm, nobody would notice. He was always covered in bandages, he had a habit of falling and getting hurt. He knew what he had done wasn’t good, but he had needed to calm down and come back to the present. 

His legs shook, and he went to go get some coffee. He had to prepare before going to work his shift at Tweak and Bros. He was tired, but not for long. Warm caffeine shot through him, causing him to slowly but surely come to animated life. The downside, his thoughts woke up too. It wasn’t too bad though. He decided to hop on his computer briefly before his shift. That would be okay. 

He checked Facebook, trying to pretend he wasn’t looking for an update from Craig. Where had the towns mystery man gone to? No sign. Of course not. Why would he run away just to publicize it? That’s not like Craig. Tweek hesitantly checked Kenny’s page. Another picture, Kenny taking a selfie, arm wrapped forcefully around Craig. Craig was shirtless. God, he really was in shape. 

Tweek violently shook his head, taking a deep breathe. That wasn’t the point. They were safe at least. Scrolling through the comment section made the mystery worse. Kenny replied, but only with one word each. Why were they so keen on making this mystery so big? Did they need the publicity? They were already two of South Parks greatest enigmas. 

“Tweek!” The shrill voice of his mom called. “Time to go to work, sweetheart!” She finished. Tweek shot a glare at the door, knowing she wasn’t there. What right did she have to call him sweetheart? Oh well. The shaking boy stood up, grabbed his apron, and came bounding down the stairs, his attitude was false-happy. And the smile he showed was so obviously held there by tape and staples. 

Off to work. With the thought of Craig and Kenny, and what would happen, all of it, on his mind. He made coffee, and waited tables and cleaned the floors and did it all. He was the only one working, and he was fine with that. It wasn’t too busy, so he didn’t mind. He got control over the music that softly played from the speakers. He tried for upbeat music, but nothing too loud or too fast. One of his favorites was titled “Coffee and Cigarettes” by the band Never Shout Never. It was soft and sweet, and it made him happy. He played a few songs by Jon Bellion, and some Panic! At The Disco. But other than that, he played coffee house Lo-Fi music.  
It was an easy night, he only spilt one cup, and that was okay, because no one was there to see. Clyde and Token came in, but just to talk about Kenny’s post, and then they left. 

Everything was fine. 

 

Until the next day...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you all like this fic. I’ve been trying to make it good, and I apologize for any errors made. Leave some comments so I can know what you think.


	4. Saltwater

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow   
> The plot exists?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry I’ve been gone   
> More things came up, and I had no motivation. The plot I’d planned didn’t seem interesting. But then I tried again and thought of something better. I hope you guys enjoy

He had arrived mid afternoon, after school had ended, spewing stuttering sentences through salty tears. Tweek didn’t know what to do. Why was he even there? Leopold “Butters” Stotch. The most interesting, yet confusing boy in town. 

“he texted me. I’m scared. I’m sc-sc-scared!” Butters gasped, sitting on Tweek’s couch, holding a cup of hot chocolate to his chest.

“What?” Tweek interveined. “You never told me who.” The blond was tired, but when dealing with butters, matured quickly. The kid, though only a few months younger than himself, always seemed so childish. Tweek had to step up and take care of him at this moment. 

“Kenny. He texted me.” Butters sobbed, pulling his phone from his pocket, with great difficulty. “Look!” 

K: I don’t kno what 2 do  
B: what do ya mean???  
K: I don’t kno if this wuz a good ide  
K: *idea   
B: geez uhhhhh  
K: I kinda want 2 come back  
B: to South Park?  
K: …  
K: ya  
B: oh   
B: well then do it!  
K: I can’t   
K: Craig won’t come back   
K: I want 2 die  
K: id come back 2 sp if I died  
K: I really hate it   
K: but maybe I should   
K: thats y I left   
K: u think I coud kms?  
B: what?!  
K: gtg

As soon as tweekfinished, he felt sick. He filled with dread and anxiety, as if someone had dropped a boulder in his stomach. His face went pale. Then confused. Why was this so big? 

“What does this ha-have to do with me?” Tweek stuttered, failing at not showing his confusion.

“Well, you’re the only person besides Kenny who doesn’t make fun of me. And, I thought you could help. We have to go find them. Tweek, please. You have to help me!” The boy was anxious, and tears dropped from his vibrant blue eye. The paled one with the scar was having difficulties. The abuse from many years ago, that had left the boy ruined. 

“I don’t know. I’d get in a l-lot of trouble.” Tweek said. The two seemed to have switched roles. Though his statement was a minor lie. 

“So will I. But we have to go after them. Tweek, Craig cares about you. I mean, so does Kenny, but that’s besides the point. Come on. Please, tweek. We have to. There’s no one else who would go.” 

“What about token and Clyde?! Why me?” His voice was aggressive, defensive. 

“Because, if anyone can get Craig to come back it’s you. I know I can get Kenny to come back, but not Craig. You can. Kenny won’t come back without Craig. And what if Kenny dies?!” Butters had relapsed into crying. Letting out a heavy sigh, I gave in. “What if Craig dies?” 

Tweek silenced. Stopped and thought. That was big. Craig being gone was one thing. But dead? A sense of dread and terror filled him again. Craig wasn’t even important to him. They never talked. It didn’t make sense. Why would he be able to bring Craig back? These thoughts bit at him, but Butters’ sad eyes gave him his answer. 

“Fine. But we have to plan this out. Do you know where they are? When are we leaving?” Tweek asked. If he was going to commit to something he had to commit. 

The two talked for a while, planning out their route, what they’d do to save time. They’d leave the next day. Who cared about school?

Tweek was scared, nervous. But excited. In all of the books and movies he’d read, everyone goes on big adventures. He’d always waited for his own. And he supposed this would be it. His own adventure. Him and Butters would disappear from school. Nobody would know. And they’d bring Kenny and Craig back. This was starting to look better. 

Tweek and Butters stayed up late. But eventually passed out. Tomorrow would be busy.


	5. Runaway

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Two chapters in one day? This is to make up for lack of content. Plus they’re both pretty quick chapters I guess.

Tweek awoke with minor confusion, as his alarm blared at him. Butters was on his floor, curled up peacefully in blankets and pillows. Why was he here? Tweek watched him get up with sleepy confusion. When he saw their map hung on the all, the previous night hit him and the green eyed boy shot up. They had to get going. Butters stirred awake as tweek slammed the screeching alarm off. They had to go soon so it’d look like they were going to school. 

Tweek shook Butters awake. And started panicking. They had barely prepared. They needed to go to the store for food. Butters needed clothes too. This was a nightmare. Tweek began emptying his school backpack and shoving clothes, and essentials into it. 

“Tweek, calm down.” Butters yawned, quietly, pushing sleep from his eyes. The boy seemed so at ease. 

“Butters, you need clothes, we need food. I have to steal my parents’ car. I’m not calm. This is gonna be a disaster.” He spewed, tears forming in his eyes again. “This was a mistake. Who am I kidding, I’m not gonna be useful.” 

Butters got up and put a hand on Tweeks shoulder, maturing in only a few seconds. “It’s okay.” He said, giving a reassuring smile, returning to his childlike form. “Besides, it’ll be a fun trip!” 

In no time, the two were out the door, tweek with two cups of coffee, and into the car, driving away. They’d stop at Butters’ house, grabbing clothes for him too. They didn’t know how long they’d be gone, but they’d need clothes. Butters put clothes into a bag, and grabbed some juice boxes from his fridge. Then, without more than a “Bye guys” to his parents, the two left. 

Nobody suspected anything. 

Tweek pulled into the gas station, and took a deep shaky breathe. They would run in, get food, water, et cetra, and leave. That’s it. He hopped out of the car, his combat boots thudding heavily on the ground. His parents’ suv, though not too tall, made for a good jump to the ground. Even for tweek, who was 6’2. Butters, who was 5’8, climbed down from the passenger seat, and walked over to Tweek. 

“I’ll fill up the car, you go get what we need.” He offered. Tweek nodded in agreement, and tossed Butters the keys. The two split up to do their own work. Tweek searched for chips, nuts, fruits, crackers, water, coffee of course, and more. He payed quickly, and took off. Butters had pumped the gas and payed, and they were off. Throwing everything into the back. 

Tweek drank his first cup of coffee quickly, focusing on the road. Butters was talking to Kenny, trying to understand what was going on better. To Tweeks surprise, Butters turned the radio turned on. A pop station came on, with all the “newest coolest music”. It was annoying to the messy haired blond. 

“If you wanted music, I would’ve played mine.” Tweek offered, with a heavy sigh. Butters shrugged. “That’s fine, I like this music.” He was so oblivious. But tweek let him listen until he fell back asleep. Then he turned his own music on. 

“IM JUST A TEENAGE DIRTBAG BABY!” Tweek shouted the words. It had been over an hour since Butters had fallen asleep. Making it two or three hours since they had left. Tweek was relaxed, excited and at ease. Though driving was a nerve-wrecking activity, it was also calm. Tweek had all control, he didn’t have to worry too much about fate. Except for all the dangers, he was safe. It was nice. 

As the song ended, tweek let out a happy laugh. Butters started clapping quietly. 

“You’re really a good singer, Tweek.” He commented. Tweek slammed on the breaks out of surprise. Thankfully they were the only ones on this road. He began moving again, catching his breathe. 

“You were awake for that?” His voice shook, as the next song came on. 

“You were very loud. But good. You sing really well.” 

“Not really.” Tweek brushed it off, focusing purely on the road. “I actually suck.” 

“No, you really don-“ 

“Am I supposed to turn here?” It was the first turn since they had gotten onto the highway, and tweek didn’t have the directions. Butters did. 

“Hey, this means we’re close to our first stop!” 

“Good, I need to take a piss.” 

“Oh.”


End file.
